Life is play
I’m guilty at taking life too seriously, sometimes to the point where I have tunnel vision designed by my mind with no light at the end of it. I am guilty of having bloated imaginations, especially during unsavory circumstances, in which I believe the worst case scenarios to be the true outcome, which is either unlikely or causes to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have seen both such outcomes, the latter quite recently too.
Elon Musk once said that its always good to assume the best, even if the assumption turned out to be wrong in the end. I think I sort of understood this today in that, by assuming the best, at least I will not let my mind run wild with false imaginations, blurring my sense of reality, causing brain fog and draining my mind. This is crucial because if the assumption was truly wrong and the circumstance does turn unsavory, at least you still have a straight mind and ability to see through the circumstance objectively. By not assuming the best, you will mostly likely form false grooves in your mind, causing you to think and see only in categories. You will be obscuring your perspective and not see things as they are. It is very very important and crucial, in matters of seeing your life and examining any circumstance, to not think in categories. If I can let our minds be open by trusting the universe, by surrendering myself and staying virtuous, I can and I will find my path, my groove, my jam. Whatever it is, I will find it. I have a few desirable career paths which I wish to follow. But I keep limiting myself by not taking a leap of faith, or even just pursuing it at a micro level. If I just let go the desires for being successful, maybe that will give me the courage to pursue these desires, and not worry about failing. Also, by keeping my mind open to any possibilities, I could even find something, which I am completely unaware of, that I am a natural at, that seems like play to me, but like work to others watching me. Whatever it is, I hope to find it, however long it takes, and not lose my way in the meantime.
Naval Ravikant says that as long as I give attention to one desire, and let all the other desires go, the universe somehow aligns circumstances in such a way that I achieve the desire. With this in mind, I wish to live a good, virtuous life with an open mind, accepting whatever comes my way and avoiding to overreach (just like the dinner party example by Epictetus). As far as career goes, my desire is to work in a creative field, specifically in the field of film making. As far as life goes, my desire is to live a happy and virtuous life. And my greatest desire is to keep my mind free of all the noise, to the point that I can take refuge in it in times of trouble. Now I know this is more than a single desire. I hope I am not trying to overreach here, also I hope to not end up a ‘master of none’. These three desires definitely have some overlap, and it also appears that these are each a journey with probably no clear destination. Maybe I could undertake these and achieve them all? Maybe a few? Maybe none? But I guess the whole point is in trying and taking a leap of faith. At least that way I won’t have any regrets on my deathbed.
Fuck, life can seem to be very scary. I really don’t know what I’m doing. I think having a blueprint will give me directions. And these directions can give me a sense of purpose too. I really envy when I see someone on stage saying that they have been doing their craft for 20, 30 years and that they still love doing it. I want to feel the same way about whatever I do. I think there are two aspects to being really good at something. First, you need to learn thoroughly skills of the craft, then you need to let yourself dissolve in the craft itself. I strongly believe that I can dissolve myself in something I love. Thing is, lately I have lost interest causing lack of motivation. Also learning the skills is a slow process and can be very difficult. This is something that repels me. If I can avoid saving myself from the difficult process by giving myself instant gratifications, I will be able to learn the required skills. This could take years too, so I need to commit myself. I think writing and editing are the two aspects that I can try to focus.
I have been rambling today, but I think if I can push myself through the tough times and follow the blueprint, I will be able to bring meaning to my life. And in terms of Maslow’s hierarchy, I will be able to bring Esteem and Self-Actualization in my life. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk!
